Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
