I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
