party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she looked like the before picture.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think your dad took our porno
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
