Your tits are I can't wait for
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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