I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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