That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
