She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
