I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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