well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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