I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
