TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
