my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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