Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
