U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
