we have officially lost it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
