i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
