i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
