Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
