You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
