If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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