so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
