New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
