i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
