in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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