Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
