A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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