I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
