About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
