i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
