That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
