we made out on top of his cat.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
