Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
