My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
