That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
