No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The feeling are messing with the penis
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
