until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
