shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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