We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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