there's paper in my vomit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Semen is not good for contacts.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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