Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I think your dad took our porno
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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