when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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