I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
