Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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