You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
