Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
