after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
