idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
