All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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