garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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