i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
