If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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